When we say yes instead of no to situations that don’t feel good to us, when we react to people negatively because of past experiences, when we stay in situations that are toxic, when our well-meaning actions have negative consequences…we come face to face with a difficult challenge – forgiving ourselves for the blowback that follows.
Why is it so hard to forgive ourselves? A lot of us get ourselves into undesirable situations because we carry guilt and shame from the past and, as a result, we don’t believe we deserve good things in life. We feel like we are inherently bad and don’t deserve to be in positive, healthy, and loving relationships. So, we attract the opposite relationships into our reality.
Once we commit to having a better relationship with ourselves and begin to make the necessary changes (having healthy boundaries, loving from afar, expressing our needs…), our relationships with others and the quality of people we attract will improve drastically. Our point of view will become less self-centered and we will be able to better see the perspective of others. We will finally be capable of forgiving those who hurt us.
Most people find romantic love to be the best channel for the feeling of universal oneness and for accessing the source of all creation. It is our glimpse into how it would feel to merge with the universe, or God. We first must experience life through duality, through the female and male perspective (yin and yang), know darkness and light, in order to merge with another. In romantic relationships, we are forced by the universe to deal with our unresolved issues, to explore our shadow, to get to know ourselves better – they are our best teachers and motivators for change.
There are many possible ideal romantic matches at any point in time depending on our state of self-knowledge and consciousness (our energetic vibration and awakedness). The universe is good at giving us signs and synchronistic moments to help us recognize these potential matches but we have to be aware of them. We might meet people that are potentially a good match but they might not be ready to deal with issues that come along and could be resistant to change. They might choose to go for what is safe, away from their expansion because expansion is scary and requires one to be willing to make a change.
Changing oneself is terrifying and can be very physically and emotionally painful. It is like shedding old skin…it is an abrasive process. It can involve grief from loss of the old self-image. Sometimes it feels like death and most of us are resistant to this feeling. We must be willing to go through the death of the ego, of a false and conditioned idea of who we are, to be reborn as new people, willing to be vulnerable to love and be loved. 💗💛💚💜